Videos

The Effects of Divorce on Childrens Mental Health Through the Life Course First Hand

The psychological effects of divorce may touch divorcees, children, family and friends. Speak to a divorce lawyer today about coping with divorce. Read more …

Comments

  • Didi Hendriks de Vries

    You have my respect, my parents got a divorce when I was 3. My mother
    started making up all kinds of nasty stories about my father. Because my
    mother came up with these nasty stories, I truly believed my father was
    like that. It made us, me and my brother and sister, scared of him. For
    instance, if we would see him somewhere, we would run away so he would not
    be able to see us. When I was 8, my mother told me my father was dead.

    My youth never was a happy time living with my mother, and because I look
    like my father and my personality is more like that of him, my mother began
    to see me as a bad person because of that. From an early age, I was forced
    to take care of things myself, and it was always me who was to blame. Even
    though it was my little brother who ran afoul with the police. I am a quiet
    girl, I don’t wish or want to harm anyone. When I was 13, my mother wanted
    to get rid of me and I was dumped at a friend of mine for a couple of
    weeks. I also had ran away from home, though only for 3 days. But I
    couldn’t take the injustice at my mother’s place anymore.

    Then, out of nowhere, 3 weeks before I turned 17, my mother simply again
    dumped me, but this time it was at my father’s house. This didn’t make any
    sense, wasn’t he dead?? Plus, he was such a dangerous man, why would she
    bring me to him than?? I had not seen my father for over 10 years, he was a
    stranger, in my mind, a dangerous man I did not know anymore.

    My father had a busy job as a cook at a restaurant. His girlfriend at that
    time was Icelandic, and she didn’t understand a word of Dutch, nor did she
    make any effort to try and learn the language. So conversations were done
    in English. She turned out to be an alcoholic, and that all together made
    life for me unbearable there. I left and I had to rely on night-shelters to
    sleep, until I was taken into a psychiatric center. They diagnosed me there
    and treated me at Parnassia, and it turned out I was suffering from severe
    depression. I didn’t really accept that as in my view, I was still able to
    work and there, things were going okay, it was fun being with colleagues so
    I didn’t feel depressed at all.

    But, now, looking back, I realize I kept up a mask, a façade. Because when
    I take a look at my life than, I sure was depressed. When I was 18 I
    started living on my own, I have had a relationship for one and a half
    years, but that didn’t last.

    July 2007 I got another home of my own and living there, I started feeling
    more and more lonely, this fed my depression which got worse and worse. I
    made 3 attempts to end my life and I have been hospitalized for 10 months
    at a psychiatric ward. When I was let go there, I went to a place for
    assisted living. This was another tale of misery, I’ll spare you the
    details.

    From July 2012 I have been living on my own again, my own place, no
    assisted living. To my big surprise, my father contacted me in January of
    this year, the reason being that he is very ill and probably won’t be alive
    for a very long time anymore. And before that time, it is his wish to get
    back into contact with this children again, to be able to see them again.
    He mailed me, called me, texted me, skyped every day, and this was really
    hard for me. I sent him a mail, telling him I did not want any further
    contact anymore, because of what had happened in the past. For a couple of
    days, there were no signs of communication from him, but then I got a mail
    from my father, which turned my whole life upside down.

    All my mother had told us, me, my sister and brother, were nothing but
    vicious lies. It was nothing else than just here intent to hit at my father
    as hard as she could, to hurt him as deep as she could. She wanted to
    torment him by making it impossible for him to see his children ever again.
    She turned his children against him, made us scared of him. She carried out
    a brain washing campaign on us, his children.

    All the authorities and other institutes that should have helped children,
    aided her in this vile scheme. She had the benefit of being the woman, the
    mother. She even got a restraining order for my father to keep him out of
    our birthplace, where we lived.

    My father had already shown me documents and other papers, including
    numerous letters he had sent to my mother, for our birthdays for instance
    he sent us money, but we never got to see those letters, and she kept the
    money to herself. My dad had shown me papers from child services which show
    how my mother had twisted everything her way.

    A couple of weeks back, I had gotten the right of access for the files
    concerning me that were still kept at child services. Normally these had
    had to have already been destroyed by now, or even years ago already. But
    luckily, this now gave me the chance to see those papers myself. It is
    filled with lies, lies the personnel at child services should have spotted.
    At one point, my sister literally is quoted saying “This is what I had to
    say, right mum?”

    Why would a mother makes her children so scared of their own father?

    If I had had a normal youth, together with my own father, growing up in a
    normal family, or even with a divorce but with both of them in my life, in
    normal, healthy circumstances, I never would have gotten so depressed, my
    life would have been so much better in the past, and even today, it is
    still a struggle. I have so many questions, I feel so much anger now,
    resentment, hatred towards my mother. It is all so unfair what she has
    done, and why? I keep asking myself, why.

  • Eric Lopez

    Did you know that this Song is about Jesus Christ how ironic !!!!….. I
    feel for your pain girl BUT this “love” that you feel will fail too. God is
    the only one that will heal you, and that is by Christ. I pray that you
    will find Jesus and except His gift that he has given to you. We have all
    fallen short because of our sin in our life. Only God can LOVE you the way
    you need to be loved. No girl/guy will ever fill that void.

  • chernobleman

    Boo fucking hoo. My dad DIED, when I was 18 before I graduated hospital.
    Died right in front of me from non-small cell lung cancer at home. At
    least you have your both of your parents. And I can say this, because my
    dad would berate my mother daily for the last 3 years of his life, and I
    know had he not gotten cancer and died they would’ve divorced. Even as bad
    as he would be to her, do I wish he was still alive? Fuck yes.

  • The Hobbitnator

    Friends and everyone thinks I am weird thaks u moved me

  • Snakester07

    Strong message. Thanks for sharing your story. UT rocks. Best of luck! Keep
    us posted and never give up in life!

  • Howie Loso

    Hi Kenna. This video is over 3 yrs old. Are you in your senior year in
    college. Would like to see update on how you are doing. Stay Strong !

  • MoodiFLEX

    ARRANGED MARRIAGES FTW!

  • The Hobbitnator

    Thank u you realy touch me my parents are in a really bad divorce and i
    have only 2 friends and everyone thinks iam weird and u moved me thank u

  • Colleen Massey

    Girl whyd you have to make me cry? very good video. thanks for the kind
    words. good to know other people have stories too.

  • Dana Vinokurov

    daughters need their fathers

  • Alexis Carleton

    You are so pretty, and, different (in that way the most successful in life
    people are). I immagine the kids bullied you because they were jealous. Do
    not listen to anyone who does not support you. Do not stay with or be
    around anyone who does not care about or love you. When anyone says or does
    mean things it’s usually because they are insecure and don’t like
    themselves, it’s not about anything you did or who you are. I’m so
    impressed with your maturity and obvious sweet nature. Despite the fact
    that other kids tried to tear you down and your mother was ill you shine!
    Way to go!!! keep going!!!

  • Battossai Himura

    she fucked with her teacher and maybe she fked up his life so he fled away.
    and then she turned into a lesbian, but i blame her parents, she is lost
    and she want to get out of it…
    IMPORTANT NOTE: most decorated and high ranked Satan servers and soldiers
    are those who succeed to separate between woman and man.

  • dokulover

    I am proud of you <3

  • Thomas Duffy

    Stay Strong!!

  • jejiro latina

    ;)

  • Finn R. Videos

    I know how you feel. I sympathize.

  • نيلي جابر
  • Fahed Selmi

    My parents Got a divorce when I was 4 and i’am 18 years now and i live with
    my mother and my Father hates me(I don’t know why ) I have a brother (13
    years old) he doesn’t know his father (My father i mean)…….This my
    story and i’am dealing with it …….. I hate this Life :(

  • Marie A. Abanga

    Another incredible story graphically and beautifully told but underneath a
    sad tale save for the end which is a message of hope, love and Faith! Way
    to go Kenna and all of us in similar positions.

  • Yailine Ruiz

    beautiful

  • KidsintheMiddleUK

    Hi Kenna,
    Can we use your film on a new website for children in separating families?
    It will be up in September (next month) and we’d feature your video
    alongside other videos.

  • Catty Hopeflyte

    my parents divorced when i was 7 too. I heard them shouting downstairs one
    night and i got up to see them yelling. my mum started to cry and stated
    ”i just want to see my mother!” we lived in inverness, a four hour drive
    from my grans house. the next day i was playing outside when my mum came to
    pick me up early. we drove away. that was the last time i ever saw my
    friends again. 7 years later now im studying and excelling in art and
    design, but i’m still haunted by my past. Kenna, i know how you feel. and
    yes, its extremely hard. i wish you all my love and support, and i hope you
    achieve your dreams. stay strong <3

  • Vladi T

    You are a brave child, Kenna, to be able to smile after all the things that
    you’ve been through. It’s a lot of courage to made that video and post it
    to public. Keep it that way and remember – you deserve the best 🙂